I was Awakened by an Occultist: A Secret Initiation Upended My World.
My transformation experience was not a fairy tale; it was a nightmare.
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When I was twenty-two years old, by chance, I had an unreal encounter that was not unlike an episode from a Beyond Truth cable series! It was so bizarre and powerful that for a time, I was a psychological abductee trapped and tortured by forces so far out of my control that I ended up like the hanging man in the tarot card with my life upside down; what I had once called reality became very unreal.
As fate would have it, my deep interest in mysticism and metaphysics from a young age drew this presence into my life.
This person entered my life through a romantic flame at the time; I was my flame’s plus-one escort while they, being a gifted calligrapher and artist, transcribed a sacred and profound book for this occultist. My friend was rightfully frightened by this figure's stature, aura, and history.
Being sworn to keep this individual’s identity a secret, I will not use any names nor give any personal details about the occultist; even so, writing this thirty years down the road gives me moments of pause about what is OK to reveal.
What follows is an actual series of events; words can not justly describe what unfolded within, the transformation and awakening that transpired within my soul.
The Scene
While my friend worked on the book surrounded by tools of magic and battle in the dining room/weapons museum, I sat with the occultist in the “living” room.
The room was crackling with energy like nothing I had ever encountered, and the feeling of otherworldly presence in the space would have reeled any paranormal investigator.
So there I was, a young adult sitting face to face with a figure who before only existed as a character in some dark movie thriller; it was a dream come true. Finally, I met someone who could answer all my questions about metaphysical and occult phenomena, spirits, God, and even the devil!
When the master spoke, becoming passionate about a subject, the air in the room became black, a darkness that filled the space, and I could not utter a word or turn away. I had no choice but to listen.
Being young and inexperienced, I had yet to experience how deep the rabbit hole could and would go. At the time, I had an undeveloped inclination to sense energies, an ability I had since very young, a sixth sense, and some intuition which the occultist described as a skill akin to grabbing a piece of poop out of a toilet bowl with one’s teeth. (The language was much more robust.)
I was told, in no kind words, then experientially shown how ignorant and naive I was.
Up to that point, as a young adult, fresh out of art school, I had spent years reading popular spiritual books, was active with pagan and Christian groups, took lessons in psychic schools, participated in shamanic circles, sweat lodges, rituals, and tarot readings, sat for days at Zen retreats and was going to weekly lessons in metaphysics with new-age groups.
I considered myself nicely ‘educated’ and knowledgeable in many things mystical.
Boy, was I wrong; I had no clue!
I had only learned from books, a mental pursuit as I knew little else, filtered by a hint of sensitivity; nothing from my experience could have prepared me for what came next.
Keep reading; it gets wild. No, I am not crazy!
Being schooled
This occultist summed up all book learning and pursuits of the mind in a few potent and short statements:
Anything anyone can imagine is real.
All literature all myths are true.
Everything ever written is of and about us, the story of humanity, even the gods, goddesses, and God.
You already have all the answers; the question is important.
On mysticism:
There is what there is and what is not. (This is much more profound than these simple words convey.)
Throughout several nighttime meetings, hearing this occultist’s teachings, the energies surrounding us sparked my sixth sense. I began to intuit that there was far more to this person than mere mental stimulation. I started to understand that most of the books, sessions, and teachings I had received up to that night were no more than mental stimulation entertainment.
Only a few texts were alive, as it can be “said,” with the spark of the divine. These, too, are only understood when someone has the ‘master key’ of experience to understand the sacred hidden within, not unlike trying to describe how a diamond looks to someone who is blind.
One such book was the one being transcribed in the other room.
Now it gets weird…
The “real” teaching
The occultist described an actual internal initiation, a process by which a master could ‘touch’ the living flame within an initiate, raise that, and awaken the initiate’s inner vision. This initiation was not some flight of the imagination but no less than the opening of the so-called ‘Third Eye’ and the perception of the life energies that flow within us.
Maybe this master took pity on me. Or perhaps they saw a glimpse of something I was unaware of. Or because this person’s humor was quite unusual. As a divine prank of sorts, I received the initiation.
I had no clue at the time, late in the evening, that the initiation had begun. It was only later in the small morning hours, while asleep, that the unreal became real.
The Nightmare Began
At once, in my sleep, I became fully aware. Not dreaming, but fully awake in another set of senses. I dropped into and surrounding me was a vast space, infinite and timeless yet intimate, as if endless and closed-in simultaneously.
As my mind realized this state, my thinking pulled me back into ‘thinking mind space.’ I felt fear and panic well up in me, and I jumped right out of bed.
Although dawn was breaking in the East, the light felt dark; the colors of the clouds were intensely colored, and the oranges and reds looked different than they had ever had before. The walls of my room appeared to move in undulations, and the carpet was a crawl with what appeared to be serpents.
And, no, I had not drunk anything in the presence of my initiator.
It was hard to stay calm when presented with a world that was nothing like I perceived just the day before. Even my thoughts were different; they were energetic and magnetic; whatever I thought became tactile as if it were present.
It was difficult to stop my thoughts from thinking about dark and demented imaginary creatures, whom, when I gave them thought, were present, not visual, but there, without question, present.
So what was said, whatever I can imagine, was, just by thought, real.
Then it just got weirder and more dark. The surrounding air started to move as if filled with flickering fish, as rainbow flashes off of scales, saturating the air.
Amidst all that was going on, I managed to find my phone. I tried to call my friend but could not speak or form words. I had to hang up, and then a profound fatigue overcame me. I hardly made it back to my bed and slept. I slept for the better part of two days.
When I awoke, the sun was streaming in my window; not only was the light filled with rainbows, but the living presence of the sun was right there; it touched my heart, and I felt the immense and powerful being that it was, and understood at that moment what the Egyptians called “RA”.
Everything was like that, living, present, from the tree outside my window to the forest on the hill.
Then I went outside and saw people; I perceived people for the first time, awash in purpose, direction, activity, want, and pain. They were no longer just visible figures but tactile living entities connecting instantly with me when they saw me, and I saw them in an exchange of living souls.
What had seemed alive to me before now was revealed as an empty shell of the physical senses; the life behind our perception from eyes and ears is so much more living than even our limited imagination derived as it is from sensual experience can ever imagine.
Training
The next time I spoke to my master, the training began.
I had to learn thought control: thoughts going to negativity were magnified and painful; they started to repeat and become louder and louder, looping.
I had to learn imagination control: If I imagined or sensed horrible creatures, they came and did not stop coming, as if I was attracting them.
I had to learn to tune my thinking to high vibrations: It became tactile, like a drill into a substance, and what was in the substance was changeable; if I allowed my thoughts to move toward darkness, it was terrifying.
I had to learn to close my mind to the influence of beings: Yes, they exist, not only from our imaginations. They feed off addictions and can manipulate thoughts, whose energy feeds them.
I had to learn to control my sensitivity: Since the real world is entirely energetic, it becomes aware of you when you become aware of it. You must learn to foster divine energy, cultivate it, and store it. Most of all, I learned to cloak myself, not reveal my energetic presence, as I discovered there were and are draining people and entities that will attach to you.
So, I did not reveal my awakening for many years besides those close to me, such as my life partner and a few close friends.
That was until my next transformation and awakening, the awareness and opening of an even higher dimension of divine presence fostered by an ascended master, which I will describe in future treaties.
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